At the start of the season two years ago, in the face of overwhelming popular opinion, this site called for the sacking of Martin Jol.

With the most spurious of evidence we contended that he lacked the ambition to take Spurs forward. We argued that he spent far too much time waving at the crowd. And most damningly we argued that he was a big, fat, useless Dutch minge.

Now we think the time is ripe to speak out again for the good of our beloved Spurs.

Since he arrived, as evidenced on the blog on Wednesday, Spurs have been linked with 4,586 players; but Ramos has only managed to land 5, and none of them the kind of star that has provenly shone at the highest level.

We have been linked with Ronaldinho, Eto’o, David Villa and Lionel Messi, but instead signed a 14 year old Mexican, a 12 year old Crystal Palace reserve FOR 1.5 MILLION POUNDS and an ex-Gooner who couldn’t even get into their side.

Let me repeat. An EX-GOONER! Which brings me on to my next point. Ramos patently has no concern at all for Tottenham’s tradition. Fetching in the chavvy red Bentley hard on the heels of almost driving our effective captain and near-legend Robbie Keane to Anfield in his own Seat Ibiza, and clearing out such crowd-pleasers as Steed Malbranque, Teemu Tainio, Paul Robinson, Pascal Chimbonda and Younis Kaboul, he now seems hellbent on ridding us of the genius of Berbatov!

So he doesn’t want anyone playing for Spurs who doesn’t want to play for him? It’s quite clear from his dogged refusal to speak English that he is just using our club as a stepping stone to bigger things – Barcelona or Real Madrid. Should Fergie’s liver finally give up and he be offered the Old Trafford job, he’s be gabbling away to the media, probably with a Mancunian accent, in five hours flat.

So he was shocked at our levels of fitness when he arrived? Not as surprised as we all were at our continual throwing away leads after the Carling Cup victory. So much for no cake!

So he won the Carling Cup? Against Ar5ena1’s reserve side and any team managed by Avram Grant I could win us the Carling Cup!

Making Jenas the captain? Bringing in the monkey-headed Chelsea twat as coach and (with a thick Uruguayan accent) being his SPOKESMAN? Going all-out attack like the new Ardliles except with no Spurs blood in him?

Is it all becoming clear to you now? He’s taking the piss!

And so we say, “Ramos Out!”

You’ll thank us in fifteen months

Posted: August 7th, 2008 under General.
Comments: 250

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the transfer window?

I’ve found a website that’s kept a record on ‘links’ (probably not definitive, at my last count we’d been ‘linked’ with 4,856 players of whom we’ve bought 5). Anyway:

David Villa, Valencia
Samuel Eto’o, Barcelona
Diego Milito, Real Zaragoza
Joe Hart, Manchester City
Lassana Diarra, Portsmouth
Diego Capel, Sevilla
Carlos Kameni, Espanyol
Nicolas Anelka, Chelsea
Yossi Benayoun, Liverpool
Andrey Arshavin, Zenit St. Petersburg
Esteban Granero, Real Madrid
Cata Diaz, Getafe
Richard Dunne, Manchester City
Anton Ferdinand, West Ham
Gregory Coupet, Lyon
Roman Pavlyuchenko, Spartak Moscow
Stephen Bywater, Derby County
Charles NZogbia, Newcastle
Diego Lopez, Villarreal
Ronaldinho, Barcelona
Aiden McGeady, Celtic
Luis Fabiano, Sevilla
Tarik Elyounoussi, Fredrikstad
Emiliano Viviano, Brescia
Lukas Podolski, Bayern Munich
Ruben de la Red, Getafe
Roque Santa Cruz, Blackburn
Johan Wiland, Elfsborg
Paul Jose Mpoklu, Standard Liege
Daniel Jarque, Espanyol
Marco Amelia, Livorno
Diego Polenta, Danubio
Hakon Opdal, Brann
Christian Poulsen, Sevilla
Scott Loach, Watford
Tiago Mendes, Juventus
Lucio, Bayern Munich
Ivan Ramis, RCD Mallorca
Thierry Henry, Barcelona
Jack Cork, Chelsea
Fabio Quagliarella, Udinese
Ben Foster, Manchester Utd
Samir Handanovic, Udinese
Robert Green, West Ham
Bruno Fornaroli, Club Nacional
Jean Makoun, Lille
Medi Elito, Colchester
Michael Johnson, Manchester City
Adam Johnson, Middlesbrough
Marc Torrejon, Espanyol
Adriano Correia, Sevilla
Dean Ashton, West Ham
Michael Owen, Newcastle
Shaun Wright-Phillips, Chelsea
Eduardo Gaspar, Valencia
Marcelo Moreno, Cruzeiro
Oscar Cardozo, Benfica
Hugo Campagnaro, Sampdoria
Allan McGregor, Rangers
Mario Santana, Fiorentina
Ruud van Nistelrooy, Real Madrid
Luis Garcia Fernandez, Espanyol
Sead Ramovic, Tromso IL
Cesar Sanchez, Real Zaragoza
Diego Forlan, Atletico Madrid

How utterly, utterly pointless and pathetic this time of the year is! Why am I the only one I know who gets as sick of it as I do? Why am I the only one who dreads the fucking transfer window? The hit rate of ‘link’ to deal is infinitesimally tiny and, new development this year; I’m beginning not to give much of a rats arse about any deal anyway.

I mean, as if any of them would say anything about Spurs anyway. How long does any player stay with any club these days? Even Man U are not immune to losing their potential legends (Ronaldo being billed as the new era’s Best last term). We’ve sold Keane and, after a week of being gutted I’m entirely over it; I’ve become unmoved by the idea of Berbatov either staying or going. And these guys were our fucking idols last year.

Maybe the era of club legends is over. I certainly pray for football, (remember the game itself?) to dilute all this beyond-ridiculous speculation; I just can’t wait for the season to start and be at WHL or watching wherever (including TV, we’re on a lot these days) to see 11 players in the kit and genuinely beginning not to give a stuff who they are and for how long they’ll be with us.

By Nayim

Posted: August 6th, 2008 under General.
Comments: 33

FIRSTLY I’M CHUFFED TO BITS WITH BENTLEY. FOR ME HE IS NOW THE BEST MIDFIELDER WE HAVE. STILL HAVE RESERVATIONS ABOUT MODRIC.

HOWEVER I WAS SURPRISED WE WENT FOR HIM. WE HAVE LENNON, WHO RECENTLY TOLD THE PRESS THAT HE WAS STAYING BECAUSE JUANDE HAD TOLD HIM HE WAS PART OF HIS PLANS. STRANGE.

LIKE OTHER MEMBERS I AM STRUGGLING TO SEE HOW THEY ALL FIT IN.

OFTEN IN FOOTBALL YOU KNOW WHO IS GOING TO START BY THEIR PRICE TAGS. MEANING THERE IS NO WAY ON EARTH BENTLEY AND MODRIC WONT BE FIRST TEAMERS.

I AM ALSO VERY SURE THAT BENT IS NOT ON JUANDE’S HOT LIST. I THINK HE WILL BE THE NUMBER 3 STRIKER WITH TWO OTHERS BROUGHT IN. DOS SANTOS WILL BE OUR 4TH STRIKER AND A SUPER SUB IN THIS FIRST SEASON I FEEL. I HAD ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE MAY FIGHT IT OUT WITH LENNON AND BALE FOR A PLACE ON THE WING. HE COULD PLAY THERE - AGAIN MAKING THE BENTLEY SIGNING STRANGE. PERHAPS BALE WILL PLAY LEFT BACK AND DOS SANTOS ON THE LEFT.

JUANDE PLAYED 2 UP FRONT AT SEVILLA DIDNT HE? KANOUTE AND FABIANO. SO WHY WOULD HE NOW BE SWITCHING TO A PRE-DETERMINED 4-5-1? IT ISNT GOING TO HAPPEN.

4-4-2 IS MY PREDICTION.

ARSHAVIN ?

SANTOS MODRIC ZOKORA BENTLEY

BALE WOODGATE KING HUTTON

GOMES

Posted: August 1st, 2008 under General.
Comments: 12

OK. Let’s think this through. It is a tricky one.

£20m for a 28 year old (who has only firmly nailed on his place in the starting strike force line up alongside a partner who is patently on the way out) seems like it could be good business, particularly when born in mind that it was in a very particular and unorthodox kind of 4-4-2, a system which the manager has not tended to favour in his time as a coach and who is buying such players as suggests Keane may not be terribly missed.

But is that the point?

I have to keep reminding myself that today’s footballer is a fiercely determined kind of a psychology, they wouldn’t be where they are if that were not the case; they are winners and want to be at the sharpest end of the game that their abilities can take them. Robbie has been with us for 6 years and, although we’ve given him European football, a CC win and more and more cause to believe we’re the only real deal in pushing the top 4, we still haven’t done it.

But is that the point?

The point is that, despite Keane saying in his Liverpool interview he doesn’t feel as if he’s let us down, I and many, many others feel distinctly let down. He was our vice captain, he played his heart out for us, Keane in our colours is how the last 6 years of Spurs would most likely be represented, he jigged about when we beat Ar5ena1 like it meant as much to him as us, and I will never be able to airbrush from history the fact that my euphoria in the stands at Wembley when we won was perfectly represented on the pitch by his obvious delight.

Robbie had overtaken Ledley King this year as our most capped player and I was happy to talk about the fact there was a Spurs Legend in the making - as good as made - playing in front of us every week.

And why was I, a Spurs fan, all too used to being let down, so sure?

Because of this from Shergar’s own mouth

ROBBIE KEANE SIGNS NEW FIVE YEAR DEAL
Monday, 28th May 2007

The club is delighted to announce that Robbie Keane has signed a new five year contract to extend his stay at Tottenham until 2012.

The Republic of Ireland forward has enjoyed his most prolific season in a Spurs shirt, bagging 22 goals in all competitions despite a slow start.

Keane said: “I have felt really settled and happy at Spurs and that is probably one of the reasons I have played the best football of my career here.

It is an exciting time to be at the club and I am looking forward to even better seasons ahead.”

KEANE HOPES CARLING SUCCESS SPURS SIDE ON
24th Feb 2008

Robbie Keane hopes Tottenham’s Carling Cup success will be the first of many to come for the north London side.

“Hopefully this is start of something special, hopefully we can kick on now. It’s special for the fans,” he said.

“This was a massive test for us and it’s unbelievable and a dream come true to come out as winners. I dreamt of this moment as kid and I’m speechless.”

KEANE HAPPY AT SPURS
Irish striker dismisses exit talk
28th May 2008

Robbie Keane has played down speculation about his future by insisting that he is looking forward to playing for Tottenham next season.

The Republic of Ireland striker has been linked with a move away from White Hart Lane and he admits he is growing tired of the transfer talk.

He maintains that he is happy at Spurs and eager to stay with the club for a long time to come.

“There’s always speculation that I’m going here, there and everywhere but I’m very content with my life and with my time at Spurs,” Keane said on Sky Sports News.

“I will continue to play there for as long as I am happy and for as long as I am wanted.
“It’s good to have a summer off but then I look forward to going back to Spurs next season.”

So, with all the logical arguments duly put to one side and ignored, because supporting your club is not a logical business, I feel FUCKING let down that as soon as Liverpool (I mean LIVERPOOL ffs, I’ve almost got used to Man Utd, but Liverpool) come knocking, this paragon of Spurs-ness disappears like a rat up a drainpipe.

OK, he played his exit well enough, he made his intentions clear, was honest enough to ask for a move rather than positioning and pouting and trying to hang on to his portion of the signing-on fee or whatever, and he can’t be blamed for Liverpool’s behaviour in the effective tapping-up, but he seems to have had no other thought than to dump us for them, and that’s that.

So, he’s joined his boyhood heroes has he? Well, it may have escaped his attention that he is the boyhood hero of thousands of little yids who now have shirts with his name on the back that they can’t wear, particularly if they’ve got Liverpool-supporting mates who may be about to put it on theirs.

I’ve got two absolutely crushed Robbie Keane fans for sons, both with Liverpool fan mates.

By Nayim 

Posted: July 30th, 2008 under General.
Comments: 80

He’s a Spurs supporter and wanted to come
He worked his tits off every game
He kicked the Ar5ena1
He took the piss out of Drobga in the CC final
And he’s fucking hot

Good luck at Sunderland TT

xxx

Posted: July 24th, 2008 under General.
Comments: 16

No player creates so much debate among Spurs fans. Mostly we’re arguing to what degree his ineptitude and his inconsistent performances affect our results, but occasionally there’s one or two who see a rough diamond (c’mon lads he’s 25, how rough can he be?)

Of those one or two: the Tottenham training staff and Juande Ramos seem, save a few moments last season, rather enamoured with Jenas’ role in the first team. But this wasn’t a squad cast from Ramos’ vision – but a mismatch of styles that had to be forcibly moulded into a his playing system – perhaps Jenas’ good technical ability granted him a pass until the time came when a more talented player could be signed.

With the signing of Modric and dos Santos, and the on going reported negotiations with Sevilla over Capel, it’s difficult to see how Jenas will make the team. On paper you’d think that Modric would play in JJ’s position with Dos Santos playing on the left wing (providing he’s good enough, not much is legitimately known about him – we’ve seen the youtube videos, but with enough editing talent you could make Stalteri look a world beater). If both these players turn it on Jenas will be forced to become best friends with the bench, although THFCLatest2’s very own Jenas fan-boy, Barbatov, reckons JJ is more adaptable than given credit for:

‘He can adapt and play a more defensive role if need be, it depends on where Modric plays and who else comes in. At the moment only Modric has been bought who can play centrally, but he can also play tucked in on the left. In fairness as Jenas’s passing is his weak point maybe it would be better to play him in the defensive midfielder role where he can use his athleticism to break up attacks and then lay off short passes to whoever, he could still make the occasional break forward.’

Decide for yourself if there’s any truth in the above – I know from experience that there isn’t.

That said we’ve got a long season ahead of us and a player of Jenas’ undeniable quality is a useful asset to the squad – if he can bring this quality out on to the pitch with any kind of regularity we might just see a new dimension (in so much that he’s doing what he’s paid to do). And imagine that he does hit form – it would be like having a new player. However we’ve digressed into fantasy, the likelihood is that he’ll continue his usually plodding along and maintaining his self deluded mentality that he’s on form:

“I thoroughly enjoyed the season,” stated the midfielder, who joined us at the start of the 2005-06 campaign. “And it was my best here so far, definitely.

“On a personal note, yes, I think I had a good season and I want more of the same, to keep playing well for Tottenham. I want to improve and become an even better player here.”

He’ll start the season in midfield and if he’s playing well he’ll keep his place. If he doesn’t he’ll be benched – it seems the Ramos way. I reckon he’ll see the end of August.

Like the banter? Open minded? - Join our forum

Posted: June 13th, 2008 under General.
Comments: 23

Dos Santos too good for Spurs? I suppose by that reckoning Berbatov is on another planet compared to the rest of the Spurs squad…And by rights, Modric must be too good for Spurs. Arguably Woodgate and Ledley King are too good for Spurs, and Robbie Keane must be too good for Spurs. Lennon…too good for Spurs. And by the way Jenas tore Arsenal apart last season, surely he’s too good for Spurs.

All of the above are more or less on an even keel in terms of ability and reputation – Berbatov being the exception, agreed. These same set of players make up half the Tottenham team (who put the ball in the Arsenal net?) So half our first team is too good for the club. Makes perfect sense.

Funny though, they’re all still Spurs players. Arsenal though: Flamani obviously regarded himself as too good to play for them. Helb, too good to play for them. Ashley Cole, too good to play for them, Henry only stayed for so long as he felt sorry for them. And who is Carlos Vela? A player with so little reputation that he desperately struggled to get a work permit and is only likely to get into the Scum line up if Adebayor, Van Persie are injured. So until you prove you’re even good enough to play in the Premiership, pipe down son – mug.

Like the banter? Open minded? - Join our forum

Posted: June 10th, 2008 under General.
Comments: 58

Now that complete bastard of a season (in so much that we’ve once again been dragged through the cess pit; lifted miles high into the glorious sunshine, and then dropped) has finished, we thought it time to spread the word of THFCLatest – no one else’s matters.

The members of the board have congregated; categories decided; victors settled upon. It’s quite simple: best player, worst player and overall cunt of the season (every Premiership player included). So what follows is definitive:

Player of the season: Robbie Keane

Nicked in ahead of Berbadogg winning by a single vote. Obviously had a great season, again scoring over twenty goals. Leads from the front and is the club’s real captain given Ledley King being covered in spastication. Scored his 100th goal for the club.

‘Has to be Robbie Keane, spurs through and through and worked tirelessly for the team. if it was first half of the season i would have gone with Malbranque but fell away towards the end. Also Woodgate was imperious but only played for half a season’

An honorary mention should go to Teemu Tainio – the fitness from Finland – who managed to wind up half the Chelsea team by pointing at the score board with five minutes left in Carling Cup final – bonus points for some how coercing that detestable slag, Drogba, into wasting more time when he complained to the ref and at Teemu. Well in.

Worst Player of the season: Paul Robinson

It’s a shame that player held in such esteem as Robbo, should fall from grace with the pace of a sack of shite – but, to be fair, this is what he’s become. He was defended by many for a long time, albeit on the back of some solid performances in his first season, but this past campaign has seen him dreadfully exposed like Ricky’s scalp.

The people of THFCLatest believe Jenas was shit as well, aided no end by his deluded self-belief and constant no-shows; living on the strength of one good game in ten. We’ll see how well he competes with Modric, and if Capel signs Jenas won’t be guaranteed a place in the first team.

And so, we come to the most important category on the year:

Most detestable Premiership player of the year: Ashley Cole.

Not only is he a scumbag ex-gooner, but he’s one of these detestable uppity people who believe in their own right to act like a dick and without consequence. His tackle on Alan Hutton was awful, but his reaction was repugnant – no doubt his sportsmanship was harnessed under Arsene Wenger and his arrogance developed by playing for Chelsea. The fact that the Arsenal fans hate him so much is his plus point, and I suppose he’s got a fit bird, but I’d sooner punch her in the head than poke her.

Like the banter? Open minded? - Join our forum

Posted: June 9th, 2008 under General.
Comments: 19

I’m Considering turning this blog into a pure anti-Wenger website. I love Spurs, but this man is so cretinous that my hatred of him and, consequently, Arsenal outweigh my adoration of the Lilywhites. The man’s record is amazing, admittedly, his ability to find the right players for a fraction of their actual value is unparalleled and his team plays excellent football, but he must make himself puke when he looks at himself in the morning(please note I’m not talking about he’s decrepit withered yellow torso and twiglet arms that even the kindest mirror would reflect).

Retracting his embarrassing comment ‘Taylor should never play football again’ following Eduardo’s mangling was the right thing to do, but it doesn’t hide the fact that naturally he’s void of humility. Let’s get this 100% straight – Taylor was a fraction late on Eduardo, and his studs were raised – it was an awful challenge that deserved a red card. The injury was merely unfortunate. An injury of this kind happens once or twice a season (Smith last season, Cisse before that), it isn’t through maliciousness; it’s through human error – no one was making spasticated comments then.

 More disgraceful was Gallas’ behavior, completely accepted and even endorsed by Wenger: ‘He’s a winner’ uttered the blinkered twit.

 A winner? A man who boots an advertisement board, walks halfway across the pitch then sits down and cries? This is the captain of Arsenal Football Club and he’s crying on the pitch because things haven’t gone his way. Actually quite fitting of an Arsenal skipper.

And it’s this sort of behavior that proves Arsenal is rotten to the core. Winning football matches with grace and skill is all well and good, but losing abysmally, blubbering on the pitch, throwing pizza, head butting each other, screaming in Van Nistelrooy’s face when he missed a penalty, inducing a mass brawl, complaining and bitching about anything and everything, is seemingly expected from Arsenal these days.

 A day later and Spurs showed the absolute pinnacle of mental professionalism at Wembley. All round great weekend I reckon.

 One more thing, what was it that Wenger said? ‘To stop Arsenal, you have to kick Arsenal.’ I seem to remember not too long ago a spanking that involved nothing but pace, poise and punishing ruthlessness in front of goal: 5-1, stick it up your Arsene, and for the love of anyone not a stinking Scum fan, shut the fuck up.

Like the banter? Open minded? - Join our forum

Posted: February 26th, 2008 under General.
Comments: 13

Going away singing your heart out, Robbo leading the yids in full voice, beer, drugs, tits, glorious (first half of) football, freezing your arse off, winning away, doing your plums, absinthe and Tottenham Hotspur.

Having had what was possible one of the best best match days of my life I thought I’d pass on - through the means of youtube as I’m a lazy cunt and these vids do more than my words possibly could- a little of what it was like to be there.

I love you Spurs; life wouldn’t be anything like as good without you.

Robinson = Hero

Posted: February 17th, 2008 under General.
Comments: 2